Interesting look at my relationship…. With my 7 year old.

I was thinking the other night, after another round of “I hate you’s”, not eating dinner, following me around the house and general cranky day in the life… that this was not the relationship I had bargained for. Was this normal? Was this going to pass? Was this the “most rewarding experience one could have in life” ? I thought I would check with some experts…

Frequently Sometimes Rarely Never
3 2 1 0




__3___ 1. Does your partner monitor your time and make you account for every minute (when you run errands, visit friends, commute to work, etc.)? (where were you? Why are you late? You ALWAYS go out)
___2__ 2. Does your partner accuse you of having affairs with others or act suspicious that you are? (affairs no… loving his sibling more… yes)
____2_ 3. Is your partner ever rude to your friends? (does interrupting count?)
___3__ 4. Does your partner ever discourage you from starting friendships with others? (that would just take more time away from him right?)
___0__ 5. Do you ever feel isolated and alone, as if there is no one close to confide in?
____3_ 6. Is your partner overly critical of daily things, such as your cooking, clothes, or appearance? (embarrassed is more like it)
___1__ 7. Does your partner demand a strict account of how you spend your money? (if there isn’t enough for him)
____3_ 8. Do your partner’s moods change radically, from very calm to very angry? (don’t they all?
___3__ 9. Is your partner disturbed by your working, or by the thought of you working? (more time away from home?)
___0__ 10. Does your partner become more easily angry if he/she drinks?
___0__ 11. Does your partner pressure you for sex more often than you’d like?
__0___ 12. Does your partner become angry if you don’t want to go along with his/her request for sex?
_0____ 13. Do you quarrel much about having children or raising them?
___0__ 14. Do you quarrel much about financial matters?
___3__ 15. Does your partner strike you with his/her hands or feet? (kicking me in bed, “accidently” hitting me)
___3__ 16. Does your partner ever strike you with an object?(nerf darts?)
____2_ 17. Does your partner ever threaten you with an object or weapon?(toy guns and nerf darts?)
__1___ 18. Has your partner ever threatened to kill either himself/herself or you? (I wish I was never born?, yeah that counts)
____1_ 19. Does your partner ever give you visible injuries (such as welts, bruises, cuts and/or lumps)?
____0_ 20. Have you ever had to treat any injury with first aid from his/her violence?
___1__ 21. Have you ever had to seek professional aid for an injury at a medical clinic, doctor’s office, or hospital emergency room? (I have tripped over numerous toys and bikes to twist an ankle or 2)
___0__ 22. Does your partner ever hurt you sexually or make you have intercourse against your will?
___2__ 23. Is your partner ever violent toward children? (his brother)
___1__ 24. Is your partner ever violent toward people outside of your home or family?
_2____ 25. Does your partner ever throw objects or break things when he/she is angry? (his stuffed animals regularly fly)
__0___ 26. Has your partner ever been in trouble with the police?
___0__ 27. Have you ever called the police or tried to call them because you or a family member were in danger?
___2__ 28. Does your partner put you down in front of others? (I am.. The worst mom ever)
__1___ 29. Does your partner injure your pets intentionally? (does jumping on them in the name of love count?)

Scoring your Answers:
0 – 14 Non-abusive relationship
15 - 36 Moderately Abusive
37 – 93 Seriously Abusive
94 or Above Dangerously Abusive




Now with all seriousness… this is tongue and cheek. My child is not a violent, abusive kid that is growing up to be a serial killer. He is a normal 7 year old with needs, and hormones and boundary pushing tendencies. I do think it is an interesting way to look at the relationship between parent and child though. Who else would put up with this crap? His future wife better thank me!