I live in a town where everyone thinks they are better than the Safeway guy. You know, the one that scans your tampons? The superior housewife whose skills are limited to the tennis court, the husband who knows where the wine isle is but won't admit that's where he buys it.
My Safeway is amazing! We have a sushi bar, we have a huge organic isle, lactose/hormone/dairy free everything. Our butcher, yes, I said butcher, actually knows how to cut meat. Our bakery makes bagels, which, dare I say, are good.
My Safeway has clean floors, a produce guy that knows how to pick a peach, a bag boy that will help you to you car and a service desk that will take returned cheese because it went bad before it's time.
My Safeway has customers that are embarrassed to be seen there because it is not Whole Foods. They actually complain to the headquarters when the store has run out of their brand of Greek yogurt. There have been town meetings dedicated to discussing the isle size at Safeway because the kiddie carts were too hard to steer. There have been whole dinner party conversations regarding the deli counter workers who don't kiss the patrons ass.
I went for a run yesterday and saw my favorite Safeway checker... He was having espresso at the local coffee shop, conversing in Italian (1 of the 5 languages he knows) and recounting the last marathon he ran in under 3 hours.
We have an air of superiority that is undeserved. I can't tell you the last time I busted out my broken high school french or even dreamed of a run so fast. I can however pick out one hell of a peach, thanks to Sam.
I hope all the Safeway workers get together and laugh at their patrons, me included. Take your own bags to the car, learn to navigate a cart or try a different brand of yogurt for 1 week. Fucking say "Thank you" and kiss their ass! We are lucky as hell to not be shopping at the dented can food warehouse.
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